All I want for Christmas,
let's see the list is so long. I would like to be able to use the bathroom
without being interrupted. Pee with the door closed, shower without someone
coming in with me, or a flattering comment about my body parts, or how I smell.
I would like a vacation on a beach with chiseled men licking my toes (not
really into that but I'd give it a try) and feeding me alcohol by the gallon.
I'd like a house that keeps itself cleaned, a closet that stays full with clothes that fit no matter what. A personal chef and a house elf to keep things going while I'm at school or away.
I'd like a nanny, or two, so there are no more two o'clock in the am wake up screams, and Saturday mornings that start before the sun rises. I'd like to get wasted drunk and not have to wake up to a little person under my covers telling me they think they smell beer. Why and when did you get in my bed anyways?
Back to the vacation, it needs to be somewhere with white sand, and blue water. And I need to be able to swim without worrying about my hair when I get out.
I'd like to be able to come home from work, and have all of my time to focus on the kids I brought into the world. This brings us back to having a house elf and a chef. If you can see there is a theme going. I don't want to have to worry about bills, and homework, and snagging a state job with good benefits.
Did I mention I'd like to pee without having conversations while I'm doing it? Never mind the conversations; I want to be able to go in the bathroom without being asked if I have to pee or poop, or whether I washed my hands. Who raised this kid anyways? Does anyone else’s kid need to know this information?
What I would most like is to see my children grow and be happy and successful, I'd like to be able to spend every waking hour with the ones I love and not the ones I spend my days with now. Who I in no way shape or form love.
I want to make memories that last a lifetime, splash in blue water with two other pairs of feet splashing besides me.
But what I would really really like first and foremost is to get a god damn lock on my bathroom door.
I'd like a house that keeps itself cleaned, a closet that stays full with clothes that fit no matter what. A personal chef and a house elf to keep things going while I'm at school or away.
I'd like a nanny, or two, so there are no more two o'clock in the am wake up screams, and Saturday mornings that start before the sun rises. I'd like to get wasted drunk and not have to wake up to a little person under my covers telling me they think they smell beer. Why and when did you get in my bed anyways?
Back to the vacation, it needs to be somewhere with white sand, and blue water. And I need to be able to swim without worrying about my hair when I get out.
I'd like to be able to come home from work, and have all of my time to focus on the kids I brought into the world. This brings us back to having a house elf and a chef. If you can see there is a theme going. I don't want to have to worry about bills, and homework, and snagging a state job with good benefits.
Did I mention I'd like to pee without having conversations while I'm doing it? Never mind the conversations; I want to be able to go in the bathroom without being asked if I have to pee or poop, or whether I washed my hands. Who raised this kid anyways? Does anyone else’s kid need to know this information?
What I would most like is to see my children grow and be happy and successful, I'd like to be able to spend every waking hour with the ones I love and not the ones I spend my days with now. Who I in no way shape or form love.
I want to make memories that last a lifetime, splash in blue water with two other pairs of feet splashing besides me.
But what I would really really like first and foremost is to get a god damn lock on my bathroom door.
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