Making the decision to be a mom was one of the
easiest I have ever had to make. I took it, accepted it, and decided to excel
in it. So now after having two children and knowing that I will never ever
ever, can I say ever one more time, have another I feel as if I should share
some of my secrets. It’s the least I can do, as an old pro.
When I found out that Zaryus was right and I was
having a girl, all I could think about was this little person who was growing
inside of me. (During my pregnancy with Zaryus I dreamed of his face every
night, and after I finally had him my first words after seeing him were
"oh, it’s a baby." Putting a face or an image to this person who you
have been carrying around, and hopefully loving the entire time is and was exhilarating.)
Back to Zoey, I first thought about all the things Zoey and I could do, things
Zaryus likes to do and I allow him, but eventually he won’t want to do, or will
have a stigma attached to them. His father doesn’t mind that my son knows what
goes into getting your eyebrows waxed, or nails done, Zaryus is also a superb
shopper and can get me a pair of shoes that match my outfit in the blink of an
eye. He is the king of compliments, and I think right now I am in the beginning
stages of grooming him to be a good man to another wonderful woman like myself.
Zoey is still not old enough to do any of these
things, and Zaryus is starting to outgrow them. Well at least shopping, he has
to be bribed lately with candy, and he mostly comes just to see if I might cry
when they wax my eyebrows because "they like rip your skin off." I
never cry, not in front of him I learned the hard way, he will tell on me.
With Zoey I have plans of mommy and me hair
appointments, trips to NYC to Cookies and other children’s department’s stores.
I have pageant plans, if she can grow some hair. I can picture matching cotton
candy pink nails, pedicures, and sneakers that match. I have so many dreams,
some have been crushed. (I tried to buy her a gold bangle the other day but she
is too small, just about broke my heart, but I will not be deterred, we will
look for a smaller one.)
Why is it that I dream of these things, I really don’t
know. I don’t have too much to look forward to in my life; I can hope that
Modern family will be really funny, or that my meatloaf doesn’t dry out. Life
once you have kids doesn’t end; it just becomes life once you have kids. You don’t
really hang with too many people who don’t have kids, because they don’t really
get you. They can try, and pretend to relate, but they don’t see art work like
you when you show them a perfectly colored spider man. This is not to say that
every person who has kids is like this, so have no interest in their children.
I am a committer; it’s one of my strong points.
So what’s my advice for you parents, my advice is
to dream of things that may or may not be possible. To force your children to
do things that they don’t want to do, not because you’re a sadist, but because
one day your child won’t be able to be bribed. Like I said I use candy, or a
pack of gum, but my sons a cheap date, he may sometimes ask for a donut only to
eat the frosting and sprinkles. I allow him; this is the price you pay for
quality time. Do not feed into society's stigmas, real men can match outfits.
Maybe not the one I married per se, but definitely the one I birthed. And don’t
be afraid to fall in love with them, over and over and over again.
I have a million dreams for Zoey and I, some
unobtainable, but anything is possible if you work at it. But when you look at
her you see me, and when you look at me you see her, we are one in the same,
and this is for one reason only, the love I have for these beautiful people I
have created.
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