Be in love with being a mom!

Making the decision to be a mom was one of the easiest I have ever had to make. I took it, accepted it, and decided to excel in it. So now after having two children and knowing that I will never ever ever, can I say ever one more time, have another I feel as if I should share some of my secrets. It’s the least I can do, as an old pro.

When I found out that Zaryus was right and I was having a girl, all I could think about was this little person who was growing inside of me. (During my pregnancy with Zaryus I dreamed of his face every night, and after I finally had him my first words after seeing him were "oh, it’s a baby." Putting a face or an image to this person who you have been carrying around, and hopefully loving the entire time is and was exhilarating.) Back to Zoey, I first thought about all the things Zoey and I could do, things Zaryus likes to do and I allow him, but eventually he won’t want to do, or will have a stigma attached to them. His father doesn’t mind that my son knows what goes into getting your eyebrows waxed, or nails done, Zaryus is also a superb shopper and can get me a pair of shoes that match my outfit in the blink of an eye. He is the king of compliments, and I think right now I am in the beginning stages of grooming him to be a good man to another wonderful woman like myself.

Zoey is still not old enough to do any of these things, and Zaryus is starting to outgrow them. Well at least shopping, he has to be bribed lately with candy, and he mostly comes just to see if I might cry when they wax my eyebrows because "they like rip your skin off." I never cry, not in front of him I learned the hard way, he will tell on me.

With Zoey I have plans of mommy and me hair appointments, trips to NYC to Cookies and other children’s department’s stores. I have pageant plans, if she can grow some hair. I can picture matching cotton candy pink nails, pedicures, and sneakers that match. I have so many dreams, some have been crushed. (I tried to buy her a gold bangle the other day but she is too small, just about broke my heart, but I will not be deterred, we will look for a smaller one.)

Why is it that I dream of these things, I really don’t know. I don’t have too much to look forward to in my life; I can hope that Modern family will be really funny, or that my meatloaf doesn’t dry out. Life once you have kids doesn’t end; it just becomes life once you have kids. You don’t really hang with too many people who don’t have kids, because they don’t really get you. They can try, and pretend to relate, but they don’t see art work like you when you show them a perfectly colored spider man. This is not to say that every person who has kids is like this, so have no interest in their children. I am a committer; it’s one of my strong points.

So what’s my advice for you parents, my advice is to dream of things that may or may not be possible. To force your children to do things that they don’t want to do, not because you’re a sadist, but because one day your child won’t be able to be bribed. Like I said I use candy, or a pack of gum, but my sons a cheap date, he may sometimes ask for a donut only to eat the frosting and sprinkles. I allow him; this is the price you pay for quality time. Do not feed into society's stigmas, real men can match outfits. Maybe not the one I married per se, but definitely the one I birthed. And don’t be afraid to fall in love with them, over and over and over again.

I have a million dreams for Zoey and I, some unobtainable, but anything is possible if you work at it. But when you look at her you see me, and when you look at me you see her, we are one in the same, and this is for one reason only, the love I have for these beautiful people I have created.

Sleep is the enemey

Being a parent is a very interesting job. You get to know this little being you have created better then you actually know yourself. You know when they are hungry, tired, cranky, lying. With knowing these things you also know how to satisfy each one of these needs. Your children don’t have to know this, that you already know what they want before they ask for it, it’s like some secret parent code, and you don’t even have to go to meetings. Of course being a parent isn’t for the faint of heart, you don’t get much sleep, if you’re like me you get to gain weight that you will never have time to loose, but every time you look in those little faces you think it was so worth it. (There is a reason moms wear sweats, just saying).

Every night at around 8pm like clockwork the argument of going to bed begins. My son is a child who hates sleep, asking him to sleep is like asking him to inflict some form of sick bodily harm to himself. There are first the tears, and then the excuses, he’s "thirsty", he has to "poop", he’s still a "little hungry", and he hasn’t given us all "kisses and hugs". You would think that after 4 years on this planet he would just let it go, get some sleep. But not my Zaryus, he will fight it, and us, until we have to beg, threaten, yell. It’s a cycle that no one really wants to witness, but is amusing to watch. To date he has never won, we stand strong, and eventually he will sleep. It is how he falls asleep that is questionable in itself.

He will put on layers in the summer, and lay under blankets. He will fall asleep on the floor, on piles of toys, and will sleep for hours. He sleeps with his feet on the walls, and his head on the floor. I tell people about this and everyone thinks that this, among other things I am making it up. They also  don’t believe that 4 year old boys use words like obnoxious, transforming, among others in daily conversation.

I don’t record our conversations because that would be weird and if you were to in fact have a conversation with him that he decides is worth his while he will let you in on how he feels on the world in his own special way. Otherwise he might not speak, another issue my children have, being silent if they don’t feel like entertaining the adult who is asking to be amused.

As a mother I feel like I am somehow responsible for what a great well rounded child I have raised. I know it has only been 4 years, but I know we will continue to be monumental. I now have another child, who also does not like to sleep. I think that this may somehow be in my genes or the fact that sleep is my best friend, and all that I did while pregnant with either of them was sleep in any free moment I had. His sister is less vocal about it; she just keeps us up at random hours of the night and won’t be satisfied until she is rocked to sleep while watching Elmo. I never said life was easy in our house.

I’ve digressed. Zaryus while being a very bright boy has not learned that you cannot out smart sleep. He has learned that if he refuses nap in school he will be on yellow, (which is not as good as green, but not as bad as red). He does try to rationalize with me by saying "well mom green is excellent, and yellow is good". I like the way he thinks, and I do believe he will one day be a great politician, or a lawyer, something or someone who is good at lying to people and will morph their point of view by using his big words, and charming smile.....

So while I continue to raise my little politician, and take pride in his each and every achievement, I would like to leave you with the images of some of the more recent ways I have caught him sleeping. Hey he may be on to something, he always seems well rested and in good health.